This is my favorite title submission by far, although now that he mentions it, I really like “less crazy than the day before” too, which was the title of my last post, like Allan suggested. However, (and I am apparently going to lose Allan as a reader altogether now?) this week I was inspired by some U2 lyrics that have become my new title. I don’t know if it’s perfect, but it definitely sums up a lot of stuff that I struggle, live, think about, deal with, rejoice in, etc.
I was listening to U2’s How to Dismantle and Atomic Bomb the other day and the start of one song goes:
“The more you see the less you know,
the less you find out as you go,
I knew much more then,
than I do now.”
This very much expresses how I relate to religion, faith and life in general right now. I was something of a fundamentalist for a time and really thought I had life figured out. I believed I understood Christianity and its place and meaning in my life. I had certain views about God, right and wrong, and the world and those views shaped the way I lived my life almost to a tee. The problem was, the world began to open up to me through places and people and emotions and just life, and things became so much more complicated.
I realized that the more things I learned, the more I realized I didn’t know, and that back when I knew a little, I thought I knew it all. It’s ironic, but I think many people would agree. There are still ragged strings of faith left, but only the really strong, ingrained deep-seeded ones of the human heart survive. The rest I ponder and wonder about and sometimes try to talk to the God I once felt I was “close to” about.
This is a rather profound post considering I have just finished a 10-hour shift at work and am sitting at the computer in the office, 20 minutes from home and a good, long sleep. I thought I would take a minute to read blogs and then Mary and Allan spurred me to write. I have another almost-finished post on my computer at home that will have to wait another few days for posting I guess.