waiting on today…

This is my favorite title submission by far, although now that he mentions it, I really like “less crazy than the day before” too, which was the title of my last post, like Allan suggested. However, (and I am apparently going to lose Allan as a reader altogether now?) this week I was inspired by some U2 lyrics that have become my new title. I don’t know if it’s perfect, but it definitely sums up a lot of stuff that I struggle, live, think about, deal with, rejoice in, etc.

I was listening to U2’s How to Dismantle and Atomic Bomb the other day and the start of one song goes:

“The more you see the less you know,
the less you find out as you go,
I knew much more then,
than I do now.”

This very much expresses how I relate to religion, faith and life in general right now. I was something of a fundamentalist for a time and really thought I had life figured out. I believed I understood Christianity and its place and meaning in my life. I had certain views about God, right and wrong, and the world and those views shaped the way I lived my life almost to a tee. The problem was, the world began to open up to me through places and people and emotions and just life, and things became so much more complicated.

I realized that the more things I learned, the more I realized I didn’t know, and that back when I knew a little, I thought I knew it all. It’s ironic, but I think many people would agree. There are still ragged strings of faith left, but only the really strong, ingrained deep-seeded ones of the human heart survive. The rest I ponder and wonder about and sometimes try to talk to the God I once felt I was “close to” about.

————–

This is a rather profound post considering I have just finished a 10-hour shift at work and am sitting at the computer in the office, 20 minutes from home and a good, long sleep. I thought I would take a minute to read blogs and then Mary and Allan spurred me to write. I have another almost-finished post on my computer at home that will have to wait another few days for posting I guess.

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2 Responses to waiting on today…

  1. Mary says:

    everytime i hear/read the words to “city of blinding lights,” i think about how ridiculously awesome that song is live. everybody jumping up and down to “OH. YOU. LOOK. SO. BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT.”

    thanks for getting it in my head 🙂

    and ll, thanks so much for all your honesty. i love being a part of your life.

  2. Rachel says:

    Hey Laura! Thanks for the comment on our blog–I think you’re the first one! Although I don’t really think I would call it a blog, as it’s really just more of a photo album so parents, etc. can see what we’re up to more than 2 times a year… no really introspective prose or anything. Mostly I just lurk around your blogs at work to try to keep up with what people are doing and maintaining some kind of Madison/UW connection. Everything is going well and I highly recommend graduate school to anyone–you get paid for doing research and reading and writing and thinking and talking to people about ideas. Not a bad life (although to be honest it doesn’t pay very well, at least right now 🙂 We’d love to get together sometime when we’re back in WI next–probably around Christmas. Hope all is well!

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