Today is a crappy day.
Last night when I was on my way out of work I realized I had made a mistake, forgetting to send an order for a semi-important customer. I couldn’t amend the situation at that time, and it’s probably not a big deal, but I always feel bad when I mess up, even if in fact no one is actually let down.
Immigrate2US is running at an all-time slowness right now, and all I want to do is read about some new approvals and converse with my cyber-buddies.
I can’t write anything good the last few days. I want to get a column about immigration in to the Journal Sentinel right now, or by tomorrow or the next day, and nothing coherent is coming together. It doesn’t help that I read this excellent op-ed in the Denver Post (which I via Immigration Orange) that I 100% agree with, only to read the comments and become profoundly depressed by what often appears to be the majority opinion on this issue. I want to advocate for this issues as much as possible while I have the plaform in the paper, but it’s also extremely disheartening to encounter almost nothing but hate, ignorance and xenophobia every time I write about it. It also makes me want to move to Mexico no matter what happens with our case. Because really, why would a person want to live in a country where the most vocal are all the idiots?
In the last week I’ve been in contact with the authors of some more prominent immigration blogs. I’ve enjoyed the networking and I’m more than happy to promote other people’s sites and generate traffic here. However, I’ve also been spending more of my downtime reading immigration articles, columns and reports as well as writing my own responses to Pastor Mike, Monty and other comment authors, and right now it all feels a little overwhelming.
I have to work at Qdoba tonight, and all I want to do right now is go home and sleep for about 12 hours. When I get into an intellectual funk, however, Qdoba is often a good catharsis, so it may actually end up lifting my spirits.
Finally, I miss Fermin. I’m an independent, generally optimistic person, and I really believe not dwelling on our separation is best for me. It’s not denial, just coping. I stay busy, work hard, remain a productive member of my community and workplace. But some days, when all this stuff piles up, and there doesn’t seem to be any end in sight, and I don’t have a trip planned to Mexico, I just want to give a big middle finger to this country, quit my job(s) and move to Mexico.
Addendum: Another cause for my funk: In the wake of the Virginia Tech massacre, right-wing bloggers and gun-rights supporters are suggesting that were there more students carrying firearms on campus, this might not have happened!!! Another blames the victims for not defending themselves. And one of the first responses from the White House, when asked if they felt this event might change to the debate about gun control, was to state unequivocally that Americans have the right to bear arms, but not break the law. Well, the shooter didn’t break the law, ladies and gentlemen, until he shot his first victim. I mean, is this really what we want? A society where everyone carries a loaded gun on them just in case they are the victim of a random psychopath’s rampage??? Disgusting, I just can’t even express how disgusting that line of thinking is. What would have prevented this tragedy would have been the inability for the assailant to purchase a gun, plain and very simple.
I hope you’re all having a better day than I.