I’ve got big plans for this summer. I want to refinish the floors in my loft, produce a late-summer’s bounty of tomatoes, peppers, broccoli, eggplant and herbs, cultivate flowers, take a writing class, query some more articles and write my last few columns as a Journal Sentinel community columnist. I also want to attend family picnics, drink wine and discuss life on a patio with friends and take long bike rides on Saturday mornings. I want to blog every day — not just links to articles I’m reading — I want to produce vibrant, thoughtful commentary that hundreds of people will want to read. Oh yes, these are big and impossible summer dreams. Did I mention I also want to go to the gym every day and cook dinner for Fermin and I every night?
Oh goodness, it is summer. There’s mountains to do and so little time. Work is busy, which means my internet time is cut down unless I spend more time in front of the screen after work, but that cuts down on all the other time for all the other stuff! For the first time, I feel tension between my desire to maintain my level of active participation in the
marketplace blogosphere of ideas, to emulate the sort of atmosphere that bloggers I dearly respect seem to have, with my desire to just enjoy the fullness of life. I don’t mean to say I want to emulate those blogs, only that they seem to produce a constant stream of commentary and information that provokes thought. This tension seems to delineate an activist from an observer. It’s an old song, with new parameters.
I suppose I will always stray on the side of activism through awareness. I’m far too cynical to devote myself fully to one group or one cause, even one people or one nationality. There are many facets to every story, and those most masked are usually what need to be exposed. If I can be a tiny piece of a bigger awareness puzzle, a few readers stumbling here, or through my Journal Sentinel columns, or whatever writing I do in the future, I will feel at least as though something has been accomplished. I hope to provoke thought and careful consideration, and reconsideration.
But this month, I’m going to try to not think about my blogger’s philosophy, or stress about how much writing I get done, how many columns I write or queries I generate. I’m going to enjoy life. I’ll enjoy writing when I can write, like right now. I’ll enjoy driving from Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Ciudad Juarez/El Paso on a journey to reclaim my husband, and enjoy our mini-road trip back through New Mexico and Colorado. I’ll enjoy my city and my garden and my life and my time.