Although this separation has changed our lives in many ways, life goes on after immigration. I feel grateful to be with someone who makes me happy. I was not terribly unhappy during the last year, but I was lacking. I tried not to let it bother me, and was mostly successful, but that does not mean it was not difficult. It is so simple to take one’s daily communal life with a spouse or significant other for granted, until, that is, it is taken away.
So in a rare moment of sappy-ness, let me tell you: do not take your people for granted. They are what is important.
Now when I am at work I call my husband and ask what we should make for dinner.
We cook stir-fries together, reminiscing about our days at Chin’s Asia Fresh, where we met as co-workers more than five years ago.
When he takes my keys and says he’s going to do an oil change, I wonder if he might be disassembling my car while I watch “So You Think You Can Dance.”
He bothers me to place chess with him and I say no because I don’t like to lose.
He plays along while I get excited about the tomatoes and cucumbers that are appearing all over my garden.
(Gardening after a suburban childhood is a wonderful thing).
I don’t wonder how many hundreds of dollars of phone calls he and I have made to one another in the past month.
(Free mobile-to-mobile doesn’t extend across the border).
I feel guilty enough subjecting someone else to my snooze-button habit to cut the over-sleeping nearly in half.
(This increases the number of days I arrive at work on time).
We discuss a future trip to China. Next year, maybe in fall, cost of flights, where to stay and where to visit.
We discuss *another* sort of future after a trip to China.
We can relax, we can travel, we do not worry about immigration.
We can live.